Words of Wisdom From A Mother in San Diego California
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
#1. There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
#2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they ignite.
#3. A four-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
#4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, neither the motor nor the ceiling is strong enough to rotate a 42 lb. boy wearing Pound Puppy underwear and a Superman cape.
#5. A ceiling fan is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 room.
#6. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on because a ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
#7. Windows will not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
#8. When you hear the toilet flush and the words
“Uh-oh,” it’s already too late.
#9. A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
#10. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak – it explodes.
#11. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 1 inch deep.
#12. The words Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
#13. The TV show, MacGyver, can teach our children many things we don’t want them to know.
#14. No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
#15. VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
#16. Always look in the oven before you turn it on because plastic toys don’t like ovens.
#17. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy.
#18. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
#19. Quiet does not necessarily mean “don’t
#20. The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time.